The Hollow Victory

bushI am not one to beat round the bush- I am the mother of a gorgeous and talented young woman, who just happens to suffer from drug addiction- heroin. For all of you who have read my blog or follow my blog, you know of some of her trials and tribulations, and of mine.

As parents of addicts, we are faced with a multitude of decisions in reference to the health and well being of our kids. The conservative right wing 12 steppers see it quite differently than I. They would have me refuse to take my daughter in, if she had just relapsed and been expelled from a program- homeless, with several large bags of possessions in tow, no car, cell phone or money, and perhaps some health issues to go along, ladderlike a raging abscess, bronchitis, or possibly some immune issues. They call this ‘consequence’. Knock that addict down to the bottom wrung of the ladder, and make them climb it again, and again, and again if necessary, and yet again, and then again in another program, and yet again,  and that should teach them, that is, if they survive. I have been labeled an ‘enabler’ and ‘co-dependent’, of which I am both, but in a balanced and positive way, and find it a necessary posture to maintain if I wish to see my daughter alive and healthy, and not incarcerated.

mom1If not I, then who? Who will be my daughter’s life coach, advocate, friend, medical adviser, attorney, chauffeur, landlord?

Go ahead Mom and lock your door- tell Samantha she can’t come home- she’ll have to figure it out, just like she figured out how to get the drugs. I can guarantee you that Miss Samantha will soon be pan handling on the streets, scoring drugs, getting sick, and possibly being arrested. The ultimate consequence to this banishment is death. You may be right Mom, but being dead right is a hollow victory.       coffin


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